Essay Example on Demian grapples with uncertainties about who he Is









Demian grapples with uncertainties about who he is and subjects himself to self brought on isolation from those around him He views himself as drastically different from the average person and chooses to focus solely on those differences rather than a blend of what all humans share and what makes each unique Throughout his life he is constantly seeking mentors who he believes will answer his many questions about life and chooses to only associate with those who are different like him Not realizing that by doing this he is isolating himself from thousands of equally as interesting people who just view the world in a different light He questions everything he is presented with and displays great curiosity which results in him viewing the world as a grey scale rather than in black and white but he passes over chances to befriend people who would broaden that spectrum even more and enlighten his views to include color Emil s retelling of his life begins during his adolescence A time during which a human grows physically and develops mental capabilities but is still wrapped in a cocoon of innocence one where a parent or older figure s words values and ideas are the absolute truth His first harsh intake of life outside of this cocoon comes when he meets Kramer In an effort to impressive the seemingly older and more grown up boy Emil spins a lie that lands him in trouble 

Overcome by guilt a new feeling Emil allows it to define him and change his own perspective of himself In the eyes of young Emil his guilt means he is a sinner and therefore cannot associate or ask his family for help because they are not While this pulling pulling away from the safety of family and childhood is a natural part of growing up for Emil it also illustrates the first time he begins to segregate himself from those around him Emil further emerges from his cocoon when he meets his first mentor Demian Demian teaches Emil to explore all possible sides in debates and every alternative in each story he is told Cain is generally accepted as evil and rather than that being because of his actions Demian proposes that this is because people are both awd and frightened by the way he viewed the world and acting on their fright labelled him as an social pariah in an effort to avoid having to deal with the changes his views could bring Once Demian exposes Emil to what is beyond the doors of scripted thought Emil s innocent childhood is over It cannot be denied that Demian s influence has a positive effect on the growth of Emil as a young thinker but on the flip side a negative effect on his social and emotional growth When one door is opened the draft causes another to close and Emil s now unstoppable curiosity and multifaceted opinions on what he sees around him further convince him that he is an outsider within his family peers and brings him closer to Demian the boy he both idiolizes and feels a familiarity with Having relied so heavily on the connection to a person remarkable similar to himself during his early teen years when Emil leaves his hometown to attend boarding school he feels incredibly lost He perceives all those around him as one of a kind because they don t immediately question things the way he does

Emil being the lone wolf in a flock of sheep Rather than realizing and attempting to figure out what distinguishes each of his classmates he tries to conform himself to fit into the mold he believes they all fit within During this time he drinks parties and loses all regard for his studies He briefly switches from concentrating on human differences to concentrating only on human similarities This is his deepest cave Demian and the comforts of his similar mindset reappear in Emil s life and help him to climb out of his cave During this climb Emil questions his own sexuality and the purpose of his life His search for answers brings Emil to his next mentor Pistorius an organ player at a local church Pistorius teaches Emil about Abraxos and the balance between all opposing forces in the world This ties into the idea that all humans are composed of everything that composes the world Hesse 69 and thus are similar in some aspects and different in others Staying in line with this theory Emil is not 100 different from all others With this knowledge Emil goes searching for more connections to people specifically Lady Eve Demian s mom who he believes is the perfect balance of all the attributes he finds attractive in men and women He does not however attempt to discover what similarities he shares with his family and reconnect By the end of the story Emil has found what he believes is his place in the world among a group of people who share his methods of questioning and believe in change While some may argue this shows Emil grew and overcame his uncertainties and self inflicted segregation I disagree I believe he just expanded his bubble of isolation to include a group of similarly minded people He no longer feels alone because he has found a group of people who like himself view the world through a critical and questioning lens but they too all focus solely on what separates them from the rest of the population and while they see the similarities among themselves they do not see their similarities to others or what makes those others unique The band width of Emil s grey scale has broadened but the colors are still absent He is still seeking Abraxos the great balance

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