Helicopter Parenting is A Crash and Burn Modern parents have the ability to know their child's whereabouts traveling speed and even internet usage at any given moment This technology is envied by similar parents of the past that desired to be involved in every aspect of their children's lives Parents employ these techniques solely in the name of wellbeing for the child but it can bring more malice than benefits This practice of overparenting strips children of their individual development and provokes many emotional and behavioral issues that are uncovered in adulthood Overparenting also known as helicopter or smother parenting occurs when a primary relative takes it upon his or her self to micromanage the life of their child The parent is wildly intrusive and involved in the child's life and judges themselves based on the success of their children This breaching of adolescent independence seeps into all aspects of the child's life but it is especially prevalent in educational activities Sullivan A helicopter parent can be seen knowing all the names numbers and email addresses of the child's teachers friends and coaches and is always searching pursuing hunting for the information on how their child is interacting with such people These parents push their kids to be overly involved in multiple activities in hope that it will give them a better resume for college or work In extreme cases the American Bar Association claims that it has come to children being forced to acquire legal restraining orders in order get their parents to stop constantly pestering them and controlling their lives Sullivan Although it has been repeatedly proven that parental involvement has a positive association with academic achievement it is the excessive contacting and probing that create prolonged detrimental effects Mailhot Like most parents helicopter parents only desire the best for their children However they often maintain such a high level of control over the child that they end up taking away many wholesome aspects of a person s younger years that shape a child into a capable readied individual Children who have over controlling parents report higher levels of psychological and social dysfunction when transitioning to adulthood This is compared to children with more relaxed parents of which report a well developed sense of independence and are better behaved Gladwell 107
According to an investigation published by the Journal of Child and Family Studies young adults who experienced hover parenting report lower levels of autonomy the ability to be independent in one's thoughts or actions in accordance with one's values because their parents have always controlled their lives for them Mailhot This has a substantial impact on the overall prosperity of a human Based on the Self Determination Theory a conclusion refined through extensive cross cultural studies a person's level of autonomy is directly correlated to their overall well being Wichmann Therefore the controlling approach of helicopter parenting leads to a higher chance of depression and behavioral problems because it deprives the children of the ability to be autonomous In a world that expects for adults to surely take care of themselves adult children of helicopter parents are left with the inability to cope with completely supporting themselves Young adults who experienced hover parenting feel unsure of their abilities overwhelmed and simply not good enough in their daily life As well as leaving young adults feeling that their basic psychological needs are not being met the inability to live competently affects relationships Within friendly or romantic relationships hover parenting leads to delayed development of psychosocial factors Couture This psychological impairment has even caused some young adults to behave in terms of brute force as a result of lacking the skills to solve their personal social issues
University student Robert Oppenheimer a victim of helicopter parenting became so stressed that he turned to violence and tried to assassinate his tutor that he was forced to study with Gladwell The seriousness of this incident highlights the danger that this style of parenting not only serves towards the well being of the children involved but all those who interact with the adult children In work environments there is a higher difficulty in achieving professional performance and an increased dependence on others resulting from young adults perceived normalcy of having someone else take care of them Couture The adults are afraid to take too much initiative fearing the lack of the safety net of their parents and crave too much guidance from outside sources These relationship issues leave the young adults struggling and having to teach themselves the skills that their parents should have taught them during childhood They have to traverse the real world figure out how to trust in their individual ability and make their own decisions without looking for external assurance This is a process that some people can cope with on their own but according to the Journal of Counseling and Development the majority need to seek help from a friend or a psycho analytical professional Wichmann The ultimate need for professional assistance proves how these behavioral difficulties spurred by hover parenting have a detrimental effect on a child's transition to independence With one of the key goals of parenting being to prepare children for adult life the practice of helicopter parenting misses the mark Producing young men and women who are inept to face the individual lifestyle of an adult while spurring serious long term psychological difficulties overparenting creates a disservice towards children and society as a whole It is necessary for parents to take a step back and acknowledge that their duty as parents is to guide rather than a control a child's journey towards maturation
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