Essay Example on Relationships between children and their parents can be Complex

Often once the child grows up they begin to have a greater understanding and are able to reflect on those relationships In poem Those Winter Sundays Robert Hayden writes of a son looking back on his relationship with his father and it s complexity The their intricate relationship comes from the son feeling guilt about how unaware he was of everything his father did and how blinded he was by his childish judgements Using details to look back on childhood sound devices to show a masked feeling and repetition of the word cold to elaborate on the emotional distance the father shows the speaker portrays his seemingly strict yet caring father and an unknowing and indifferent child himself This shows that a child can never understand the hardships of a hard working father or how the love from one will be forever unconditional no matter what The speaker focuses on certain details that he remembers of his father He looks back and sees a hard working man caring for his family in the only way he knows how through his actions The opening line puts emphasis on the word Sunday since Sundays too my father got up early Hayden 1 and warms the house 

This is a day meant for religion family and rest so by waking up and doing these things the father was showing how much he loved his family and what he was willing to sacrifice from himself his own rest from a hard week of manual labor The father was taken for granted and No one ever thanked him Hayden 5 for his perpetual hard work and upkeep In these lines the reader can see into the sons feelings of guilt for how little recognition he gave to his father and even though it is a fathers duty to care for his family he as a son should be thankful For this is one of the only things a parent will ever ask from their children in return Throughout the stanzas of the poem the author uses distinct sound words to portray the sounds of cold a symbol of their relationship In the second stanza the speaker writes of how he could hear the cold Hayden 6 in the mornings and not wake until it was all driven out displaying his subconscious fear of his father and cold itself Using the words blueblack Hayden 2 and cracked Hayden 3 in the first stanza to create a intense feeling with the hard k sound leading the the speaker to reveal a colder and more strict side of his father As a child this was the only side he saw leading him to fear the chronic angers of that house Hayden 9 showing an underlying and unending darkness He saw a father who was intolerant and reactive after his day at work who lashed out at him for the smallest of things The way he saw his father as a child led to their complex relationship and his mixed feelings back then compared to his revelations now as an adult The use of repetition on the word cold presents a timeline of the father and sons relationship This begins with the first cold Hayden 2 depicting a father constantly trying to do what's right for his family and having to deal with a son who s unappreciative and constantly giving him the cold shoulder because he can only see what shows up before him unable to see past the wall of ice In the second stanza the word cold is compiled with onomatopoeia so the reader can almost hear the sound of coldness hear the cold splintering breaking Hayden 6 

This signifies the son chipping away at the ice before him and seeing past his father s rough exterior to every small sacrifice he has done for his family To end everything the use of the word cold Hayden 11 symbolizes him breaking through and driving out every piece of hostile ice blocking the view of his true father Once removed he saw a man who worked hard every single day did everything he knew how to for his family and his son Reflecting he asks What did I know what did I know of love's austere and lonely offices Hayden 14 Love was a part of everything his father did and worked for As a child he only saw the side of his father that struggled to show his love through typical words and expressions leaving him heavy with guilt He is now unable to thank his father for everything because what did he know of the love of a father to his son This poem embodies the unwavering love that one has for their child even if it is more difficult for some parents to show The love is always there bobbing away surfacing here and there at different intervals but always constant under the waves