Essay Example on The Fallen Heart Sarah Meng

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Sarah Meng English 9 5th Hour December 19th The Fallen Heart Sarah Meng Today was my birthday the day where I can celebrate another one plus number to my age I was 15 to this year and no one cares I was at home and I saw my dad sitting on the couch while doing nothing but watching TV and munching on his junk food I don t know how he could live like this he always ends up in the hospital On the other hand my caring mother who has been on and off with two jobs day and night are trying to keep us together She s been trying to file a divorce but is going through stress with lawyers and other such I couldn t really tell my father but he looked depressed and heartbroken And for me I ve been having difficulties in school Facing my social anxiety I feel really ashamed Since the beginning of first grade I ve always been that lonely kid in school who would never talk to anyone I guess I find it weird considering that I have no courage to make any new friends It always seems so easy to talk to my family members but in public it s tough especially with the people you ve never known in your life I m living a dreadful life a life where I wish I never existed No wonder why I always hide in the bathroom during lunch period Some days I would skip classes just so I can be away from everything I wish I could disappear I woke up in the morning the next day realizing it was a school day My alarm clock was screaming for me to wake up Aw man another day of torture I whispered I dressed up brushed my teeth and headed downstairs When I arrived at school I felt like I have butterflies in my stomach I didn t want to be here with a bunch of people that I can t talk to I wanted to flee After a moment of thoughts going through my head a group of girls who doesn t seem to be popular asked me to be friends

What in the world is 4 girls standing in front of me asking for friendship doing with a person like me As well I thought they could help me with my social anxiety so I replied yes Their brown blue green eyes looked at me in relieved And they handed me a name pin tag that writes my name Sith in sharpie They wanted to know a lot about me When I heard the final bell rang I got a phone call from my mother saying that my father is in the hospital in serious condition I felt panicked and praying that he ll be alright Many negative thoughts were surging through my brain When I arrived at the hospital I saw my father in a critical situation He has tubes all around him oxygen flowing I knew right away that he is in paralysis and is going through life support My mother was in pain so we had to leave the hospital to get reports in 2 weeks if my father will wake up I ve been going through struggles in school my grades slowly began to drop At school I barely talked and the friends I thought I had never talked to me again I just wanted to hide It feels as if I m getting sad each day my mom keeps working and I felt lonely to have no one to talk to I m having these suicidal thoughts Life isn t worth living anymore

Can t I just die About a week later we visited my father he still looked the same Nothing changed The doctor in the room told us that he didn t survive because the heart attack affected his brain and most of his brain cells were already dead Why did this happen And so another week later it was my last time to see him The nurses had to take his life support out I touched my dad s hand and I can already feel it getting cold He manages to continue breathing his last breath and will pass away the next day He s gone we can t do anything to help him anymore my mother said I cried for many days at night I tried to sleep but I was too depressed I couldn t believe he was gone A loss of a family member is a piece of a heart torn off broken Why do I keep thinking in my head Why couldn t I help him Why was I being so clueless dumb I felt pathetic thinking about what s going on with me I woke up in shame and depression I felt guilt crawling over me My life deserves to be over but I couldn't I can't leave my mother all by herself working day and night I need to help her no matter what will pass and learn to let my miserable past go



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